Hoovering
Version 1.0.0 · Updated 2026-07-30
CORE DEFINITION
Derived from the vacuum cleaner brand Hoover. It refers to the tactic used by abusers to 'suck' victims back into a toxic relationship after the victim attempts to leave or cut off contact, using sweet talk, feigned remorse, or manufactured emergencies.
SCAFFOLDING EFFECT
Reduce cognitive load
Preventing relationship relapse. When you leave a toxic person or situation, and they suddenly try to contact you with gifts or apologies, be wary of Hoovering. No matter how strong the suction, do not look back.
Anchor fast decisions
Abusers (commonly those with narcissistic or borderline personality disorders) rely on intermittent reinforcement to maintain control over their victims; cutting off contact breaks their sense of control and narcissistic supply. The victim's previously formed trauma bond makes them highly sensitive to guilt, memories, and fantasies that 'the other person will change,' so the abuser uses apologies, gifts, or fabricated crises as 'suction' to reactivate the bond.
MINIMUM ACTION
In progress 0/3Practice this model in one real situation:
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Source support: Explicit
- en.wikipedia.orghttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vacuum_cleanerverified
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